Misguided Ghosts
by blueberrymuffins7
Summary: AH Bella recovers after her mother's death and decides to spend her last year of high-school in Forks, before going to university. But she meets Edward Cullen, who gives her life a new meaning.


''Shhh! It was just a dream, just a dream, honey.'' Renee said in a soothing voice while patting my back. ''It's all right, I'm here.'' She took me at her chest, caressing me with a hand on my back and with the other in my wet hair. I was covered in sweat and the draught coming from the opened window made me shiver. Renee wanted to close the window, but I wouldn't let her go. So she pulled the blanket over my shoulders and hugged me closer while chanting calming whispers as I started to calm down.

I woke up in the morning with a splitting headache, restless and still haunted by the last night's nightmare. The sweet smell in the air announced me that Renee was cooking - such an unusual thing for her. After I went to the bathroom, I made it to the kitchen where she was joggling with a pan and a raw piece of dough. I must have scared her, because one moment the dough was in the pan and the other I saw the pan empty. The dough was now spread all over the sink.

I excused myself with a mumbled ''Sorry, mom.'' then rested on a chair.

''Oh, it's nothing, darling.'' said Renee while removing the paste from the sink and throwing it in the trash can over other unfinished pancakes. I laughed at the view.

''I'm glad I amuse you.''. She tried to sound serious, but the corners of her mouth were trembling and eventually she grinned at me.

''Here, let me help.'' I got up and took the pan from her hand. She didn't said no and went to stay in my place drinking her coffee. I could feel her starring at me, worried and nervous, not knowing how to start the inevitable conversation.

''...about last night...I...just..."

''Mom, I'm fine. It's going to pass...eventually.''

''It's been two weeks. Maybe you should see someone...a doctor perhaps would be a better solution than just waiting.''

''I don't need to go to a shrink,'' I said through my teeth. ''It's not like I'm losing my mind or something. I'm not crazy!''

Renee watched me distracted by the way I was moving the hot pan in the air. "I've never said it. It's just...what I feel...seeing you like this...I'm afraid and I have no idea what to do to help you. If you won't do it for yourself, at least bring me some peace and let a specialist consult you. For me."

''All right.'' I agreed partly because I wasn't in the mood for a dispute and otherwise I was melted by the turn of the conversation.

I reached for the oil and careless as always I touched the burning metal of the pan. ''Oooooouch!'' The pain made me jump and the skin on my wrist turned red and became very painful. Renee dragged me to the sink and let the cold water run over my wound. She turned off the gas stove and took a small white plastic box from the first-aid kit that I would need ever so often, and spread a considerable amount of cream over my red spot, already numbed by the water.

"You should let it like that for a while.'' she smiled weakly as she kissed the top of my head. ''I think I will prepare some sandwiches for breakfast, or should I say noon". I threw a glance at the clock only to see that she was right. There were three quarters of hour over twelve o'clock. It was impossible to think that I've slept so much, being given my overall state. I was exhausted, a bit dizzy and my headache intensified after my not-so-gentle contact with the pan. I wasn't hungry at all.

"I'll just eat an apple, so don't worry for me." And before she had the time to say something I grabbed a fruit from the table and went upstairs.

I closed the door and I opened the windows. I let the purple curtains fall, so my room was much darker than the sunny atmosphere from outside. It was mid-June and the weather in Jacksonville was torrid. I was usually more than happy with this fact - I loved the heat, the sun, the light - but today the air seemed so suffocating that I wished for a trip to the North Pole. Or the South one. Whichever was colder.

As I headed for my bed, I glanced at the mirror on the wall, surprised by the face I was seeing. My skin has never been paler, my cheeks were swollen and my key bone was obvious under the collar of my blue t-shirt. But what made me so distracted was the appearance of two dark circles under my eyes. I looked and felt like I was breaking to pieces, so I let myself lie on the bed, hoping that this time it would be different.

Minutes later, I was going downstairs, hearing Renee in the kitchen. She was playing the piano. She was laughing. I knew I was dreaming for ever since my father died she hadn't touched the keys. He bought her the piano, he taught her how to play, it was _their_ thing. But now the notes were flowing in the air, an enchanting melody. I touched the doorknob and opened the door and the song was gone, the piano was gone, the kitchen was empty except the big wardrobe in the centre of the room. I knew so well I shouldn't open it, but the knockings were coming faster and faster from the inside. I touched the wood and unlocked the door. And there she was choking and gasping for air, strangled by one of Charlie's tie. ''Help me!" she said breathless. I tried to free her but the tie was too tight and she was struggling to breathe. As I was trying to pull off the tie, her gasping became more like snorts, she started to slap me and kick me, her nails were digging in my skin and I felt myself suffocating. I couldn't breathe anymore and she was trying to take the tie off from around my neck. I was inside the drawer, strangled by dad's green tie. "Bella, Bella!'' Renee was screaming. ''Bella, wake up. It was just a dream, just a dream.''

Though awake, I couldn't calm myself. I was still trembling, sobbing with tears gushing miserably down my cheeks and lingering on my neck. Trying to wipe them with my hands, the burnt on my wrist came in contact with the salty water, making me wince at the pain. Renee was already at my bed with the first aid kit, and while taking care of my wound I noticed the tears in her eyes. 

"I'm going to call Dr. Stevens as soon as I finish this.'' she said in a shaky voice. Take a shower and change your clothes. Come down when you're ready, all right?" she said as she kissed the top of my head. I couldn't say no this time, so once she was out of the room I took clean clothes and went to the bathroom. The cold shower made me tremble, but in a good way. It made me more alert, it eased the pain in my head and chest and although it didn't relax me, I was feeling a bit better. In one hour I actually forgot I had an ugly dream and I was flirting with the idea of telling Renee we could postpone the trip to the doctor. But there was no reason to cancel it, for it has never been made.

My mom was the only thing left for me in this world, after Charlie died two years ago while hiking in the woods in his hometown. The separation was not too painful, since my parents' divorce occurred a long time ago, but there was still a feeling of unease knowing that the whole going well of my life depended on my mother's staying alive. Sometimes, if I would let my mind wandering far enough, I would cringe at the thought of seeing her lifeless body, cold, unmoving, soulless. That was my worse nightmare - her death.

•

I was done with preparing myself for school. My clothes were nothing but normal - a black sweater, dark blue jeans, black shoes. I brushed my long brown hair and I tied it in a pony tail. One short look in the mirror assured me that I was looking decent. I took my bag and my keys and got out of the house.

In Forks, the weather was abnormally warm for the beginning of September. Ever since my childhood I was a bit terrified of the clouds, the rains and the coldness of this town, but after eight years I discovered that here was the only place I could be able to live, and the recent events had all to do with this.

Three months ago, I found Renee lying on the kitchen floor. She was not breathing and she was cold. I called the ambulance, but it was too late. The doctors told me something about a heart attack, though I've never seen her sick. Not even a cold. After a week, they informed me she was suffering from stress and depression. Combinations like coffee abuse and sleeping pills caused her collapse. I could not believe it. We were both in the same boat after Charlie's death. There have been two years, for God's sake, I should have noticed if something was wrong. But life seemed to be all right. At least we got over his disappearance, or was it just me who didn't miss him that much? Out of sight, out of mind and you don't long for someone who you've never known as a person.

I was four when my mom and I left Forks. Of course, we visited now and then, but that was all. I knew she still loved him, only I never wondered how much. Mostly because we didn't talk about that passage of her life, I realized I didn't know anything about it. And I took all her silences and all her misery as something as normal as it could be, because they were not long, and they were what I did too. Only now I could think of comparing her love for Charlie and my love for him, and yes, she would have all the reasons in the world to be depressed and to suffer, and grieving and crying and missing him would have been normally. Because if there was a way of knowing that she still loved Charlie, then the fact that I was all alone now proved it. She died because she still loved him too much.

So, immediately after Renee passed away, I was more than surprised at my ability to think lucid. It hurt me the fact that she was gone, and the realization hit me like ice cold water: I was all by myself. But somehow, I did not panic. The funerals were organized by friends of Renee, some of whom I've never seen in all my life. Colleagues from her job, neighbors, people who met her and knew that it was impossible for me to get done with it, helped me. In three days, it was over. And all I had to do was to stay calm. But the bigger the success of keeping a good façade was, the harder it was for me after. I spend days wearing her clothes, not eating, not washing myself, only grieving and missing her more and more as the days were passing. After two weeks it was high time to stand up.

One Monday morning I received a call from Renee's lawyer. After a meeting with him, I was possessing a house in Forks - Charlie's place - and one in Jacksonville, plus a large amount of money - all what my parents earned while they lived. But in order to use those goods, I was supposed to be 18. My birthday was on 13th of September, which gave me more than two months to decide what I was going to do.

In the end, I knew which way I wanted to go. So, one of my mother's friends who was a real estate agent helped me to sell the house in Jacksonville. I packed all the things and at the beginning of September I moved to Forks.

I was sorry for leaving that house, but there was no point in pretending that I would be well between the walls that kept so many memories I shared with Renee. A new start was all I needed, and Forks just happened to be the other option. It was my last year of college, which gave me twelve months to stay there, before I would go to university.

But at the moment I was going to spend my first day at Forks High-School, and I felt awkward and a bit scared. It was a small town, and Charlie has been the chief of police and I was aware of people still remembering him. One of the things I omitted before coming here was what would people say. I hated to be in the centre of attention and my only consolation was that it was going to pass soon. However, it has been my decision to come here, so I had to hope that it was the wise one. There was no way back.

"Now, chin up and give your best, Bella. You can do this." I encouraged myself, wiping the tears tickling my eyes. I climbed in my red Mini Cooper and hit the gas pedal, more decided than ever to get a new life off with the right foot.

•

When I got to school I was having a feeling of déjà-vu. It's been less than three years, but the place hadn't changed at all. Nor the people. Everywhere I looked, someone was glancing or whispering. It was all about that new-comer privilege I was so sick of. Only I new I wasn't such a new-comer. I was more like...not-so-new-comer or whatever.

I couldn't find a definition of myself.

Angela Weber, a slender brunette with glasses was staring at me. Her big eyes were measuring my stance and I suddenly felt uncomfortable. I hated being observed like a zoo animal. The thought of a white swan in a cage made me chuckle. If someone would have asked me what animal would I be, my first answer would have been a swan, because of my last name. For a moment, I wished I would have a normal name, like Weber or Stanley or Newton. That way I would've been able to choose an animal by my own, without being influenced by the coincidence of my bird name. But then, what other animal could I've been? Guess I'm happy I have an excuse to choose swan if questioned about my dumb nature.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Ooooh my Goood! What are you doing here? Don't tell me you've come back!"

"I don't tell you I've come back, Ang. Glad to see you too."

"How are you? It's been so long, like what? Three years? Come here." Angela hugged me in her tight grip. "Gosh, I've missed you so much. What's your first class?"

"Umm...Biology...with Mr..."

"Banner." she interrupted me. Her enthusiasm was contagious. I couldn't help but grinning back at her. She could be such a great person. "Come on," she said. "I've got the same class too."

We've made our way through the crowd, while Angela was chatting happily about how the things were going at the school.

"...and now they are together. Like together, together. I don't even know if that's legal. I mean Jess' b-day is in January, so she's still seventeen. But that doesn't stop Mike from telling everyone how good she's in bed. I swear to you, I am so sick of them. Thanks God you're back. I mean, we're still friends, right?"

''Of course. Hey, I wanted to tell you that...I'm sorry for...you know...not keeping in touch..."

"Are you kidding me? I guess I should say sorry, too. Which makes us even."

See? That was why Angela was my best friend ever. She was so kind and forgiving and...

"So, since when you and your mother have decided to move back?"...and curious.

I felt a pain in my chest, but it was not physical, which made it more unbearable.

"My mom...died..."

_I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I am so not going to...Damn it! _

"Oh...I'm sorry, Bella." she patted my back. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend that Renee was there caressing me, but I knew better than to allow myself the illusion.

"It's ok," I said as I wiped away my tears. The bell rang and we hurried to Biology.

When we entered the classroom, a very welcoming Mike was posted in front of me with his arms open, waiting for me to return the favor. But I was in no mood as I gave him a dark glare intensified by my red eyes. He stepped back letting me pass. Angela went to sit in the back of the classroom with Jessica, so I was left with my old desk at the window.

And my old mate - a stuffed white owl. I guess nothing had changed.

The first three periods passed quickly. At lunch, Angela took me to the cafeteria. I bought myself an apple and a bottle of water. The apple was half green, half red. As we sat down, I was undecided.

_What if the red half is poisoned? Or maybe because the story says it was the red half, in reality, the green half is poisoned._

I put the apple on the table and opened my water instead.

_I don't want to die. Not today._

I watched Angela eating her chicken sandwich. She was distracted, or maybe just distant because of our last conversation. Anyway, I was too tired to start a dialogue. The night before was my first time to sleep in Forks, in Charlie's house, in my new bed, after Renee died. It's not that I had a nightmare. My dreams were black after she was gone. No feeling, no space, no vision, my dreams were oceans of pure black and nothingness. And I was glad. As long as I could drown in sleeping, it was fine. But the only problem was that I kept staying at the surface. I was closing my eyes and I was still conscious after two hours. It was so boring and tiring at the same time.

I decided that I needed something to sleep. _Some pills, perhaps?_

"Hey, Angela, do you know if there is any good doctor here at the hospital?"

She cleared her throat, and watched me a bit incredulous. "Uhm...Dr. House retired last week. He was not in his mind lately, you know. I guess it was his age's fault," she chuckled ''so, I really don't know who's going to take his place. My mom is nurse at the hospital. As soon as she finds out, I'll tell you."

And that was all we talked on Monday. Great, I've scared the only person I was counting on as a friend. _Brilliant!_

•

After classes, I went back _home_. It was a bit weird, since I still couldn't fully associate the word with the building. But it was _my place_ and the least I could do was to recognize that it was a beautiful place. From the outside it seemed so eerie and ancient, with its white windows and the pale walls. The white wooden stairs with their peeled paint were perfectly completed by the black wrought iron balcony at the second floor.

My room's balcony.

That moment I realized how much I loved it.

My house.

My home.

My place...which was broken!

Someone had entered _my_ crib. I was...shocked. My hands were trembling as I got out of the car. It was standing out a mile the front door was open and _somebody _was in. And I was unable to move forward. A thousand scenarios were running through my mind.

A burglar, a psychopath, a...who is there?

I couldn't come up with any logic answer. I threw up my hands in horror looking around. There were no houses nearby. It wasn't like I was standing in the middle of nowhere, although it was the first time I noticed that it would have been wasted time to scream for help for no one could hear me. Only a black Mercedes was parked on the other side of the road, but no one was in it.

My head started spinning around. And then it hit me.

"Dad! Charlie! Are you in? Dad?" I started screaming running to the front door. My heart was beating like a drum and my chest was ready to explode. I was gasping, fighting with the nod in my throat.

I couldn't see anything. I pushed the door open but I couldn't make it to the living. I was stopped by him. I couldn't hear anymore, I couldn't breathe anymore, I was sobbing, gasping for air, and the pain in my chest was excruciating. But all I knew it was that he was here. He was here...

•

"Are you sure she's fine? She doesn't look too good."

"She should wake up soon. I think she was exhausted. At least her pulse is steady now."

"How is she?...Oh...Edward, I wasn't expecting to find you here. Are you still mad?"

"Alice..."

"As a matter of fact, no, I am anything but mad. I can't see why it doesn't disturb me that I could have been home right now, in my own room, living the same life I've been living until someone here decided that it's for the best to bring us here, in rainy Nowhereland to guard Sleeping Beauty's deep nap. I'm sooo all right with this."

"Edward!"

"Well, that means you haven't seen the house. It's enormous. And the bedrooms are...ah, just wonderful. You are sooo gonna love it! And the weather is just fine. Considering that you didn't use to spend so much time outside before...it's all just...oh, perfect."

"Alice, fu...!"

"You can't. I'm your sister."

"Guys! She's awake."

I stared at the three people in front of me who were now looking at me. My mouth was dry as I was trying to form a coherent question.

_It starts with a 'who', then it goes with an 'are' and it ends with a 'you'. Question mark._

_Shut up!_

I barely managed to whisper a mumbled "Water." A blond man, who seemed to be older, went into the kitchen. The others, a boy and a girl, probably my age, were still eyeing me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Here you go. Drink." He helped me up. I was so stiff. I noticed I was standing on the couch in the living room. I was wrapped up in a blanket and on the coffee table were crowded all sorts of medical equipments and medicines. It was just like I was four again and my mom was taking care of me with my 39 degrees fever, after a nasty cold. _Which reminds me_...

"Where is Ch...? I mean my dad." The moment I said it, I was aware of the truth. "He never came back...Who are you?"

The older man took the empty glass from my hands and smiled at me. "I'm Carlisle and this is my son, Edward, and my daughter, Alice." He took a deep breath, and he looked intently in my eyes. "Do you realize he's...dead, don't you?"

Why was he asking me such a thing, and who was he to know about my father or his death, anyway?

"Yes, I just thought...you...the door...open...How, how have you entered the house?"

"I've got a key. Your father gave it to me, before he died. I've just found out about your mother, and...I'm sorry I came so late." He knew my father?

"I am...confused!"

Before he could explain me something, his phone rung.

"Sorry, I have to answer." he stood up and went to the window. The girl came and lifted my legs. She sit on the couch and rested my legs in her lap. She offered me her hand, "I'm Alice. Nice to meet you."

I took her palm. Her skin was soft and white. She had perfect manicured small fingers. She seemed so tiny and fragile and...annoyingly energic. Everything about her was screaming 'good mood'. She was all smiles and it felt like a swine flu. I was infected which made me smile back. "I'm Bella."

"Oh, I know. You and I are going to be great friends!" And the tone of her voice was undoubting.

I leaned my head on the back of the couch. Edward was with his back at us. I had to admit it, he really was good looking. He was wearing a grey sweater and a pair of black jeans. I chuckled when I noticed his black sneakers.

"I have a pair of those too." He turned around and looked at me, then at his shoes. He shrugged, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a little smile.

Then we were silent. It was a good silence. There was peace and a feeling of safety I haven't felt for a long time. Outside it was dark and raining and the windows were misty, but indoor it felt so cozy and comfortable. In the warmth of my blanket I was falling asleep.

"I have to go to the hospital. There is an emergency." Carlisle spoke, as he took his coat and reached for his things. "Alice, do you mind staying here tonight? Or at least until I come back."

"Of course not, unless Edward wants to." She laughed at her brother. The sound was adorable, like bells...like chimes..._like I'm sooo high._

"Har, har!" said Edward humorless. "Come on, I'll give you a drive." He took the things from his father and got outside.

Carlisle took my wrist. "Your pulse is fine. Apparently the sedative I gave you is still making its effect. You should go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow morning, so I wouldn't recommend you going to school. Will you be ok?"

"Yes. Alice, you know, you don't have to stay if you don't want to."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be silly. Who said I don't want to stay?"

She walked out Carlisle, and closed the front door. I tried to cover my yawn, but it was impossible. I was dropping with sleep.

"Let's take you to your bedroom." said Alice as she helped me stand up from the couch. I don't know what happened next. I just woke up and it was morning.

•

The curtains were aside and the window was slightly cracked open. A cold breeze was coming through. It was raining and the sky was clouded. A sweet smell of honey and vanilla was lingering in the air. Alice was cooking. I smiled at the memory of her name.

She was _my friend._

As well as Carlisle and...Edward. I really didn't know what his problem was, though. He clearly didn't want to be in Forks. Which led me to the conclusion that they were as new to this town as me. I felt sorry for him. He didn't seem to be dealing with it as well as _we_ did. But who was I to know what he was thinking.

The doorknob gently switched open.

Knock, knock.

_Who's there?_

_It's me... _

"Morning. I cooked breakfast for you. Hope you'll like it"

_...Edward._


End file.
